Saturday, February 13, 2010

Barack Procrastinating While Drunk in a V-Neck

Two weeks...I'm not sure if that's a long time or not. I feel like it's been ages since I posted on here, but it's only been two weeks. Maybe the problem is that I've had things I wanted to post but kept on procrastinating, and I therefore have let it eat at me and make the time seem longer. (A bit about me) I've had big problems with procrastination since I was little. I noticed it with homework. I'd put it off until the last minute, do a half-assed job and get a grade reflecting that. Before I got to HS I had noticed my problem and decided to fix it. For a long time I've been a believer in the power of suggestion/mind power. People are able to euthanize themselves simply through telling themselves that they are going to die. The same with hypochondriacs. They tell themselves they are getting sick and end up making themselves sick just because the mind is that powerful. So when I was younger I decided that I'd tell myself to change, and that that would do it. So after years of telling myself not to procrastinate, I can actually see a difference. The problem is that I'll let off sometimes, like with this blog, but I've conditioned myself to...I guess, give myself a hard time for doing so. So, there's my shpeal to start this off, now on to the meat...

So, I went out drinking a couple weeks ago. It was after work and I was gonna just have 1 or 2, but then I get to talking to the people next to me, and next thing I know some guy starts buying drinks for all of us and voila, I'm drunk. As I'm finally getting ready to go he tells me he's headed uptown to this Dominican bar where there will be a bunch of hot Dominican women and I should join him. At the very least I'll be able to grab a free cab uptown. I didn't really want to go out to another bar, I had to work the next day, but shit, free cab ride, more free drinks, lets go, why not? So we get up there, and, surprise, surprise, the baddest chick in the place looked like a fucking ogre. He bought me a Corona, I downed it and said "sorry dude, I gotta go" and bounced. Now, like I said, i was already drunk before I touched my lips to the Corona, but downing one more did it. Let me just clarify a little. I got out of work at 11. By 1 I had gone through...5 16oz PBRs and 1 Corona. So I leave the bar trying to find a subway entrance. Only problem is I don't know what fucking borough I'm in. I'm drunk, it's warm-ish (for February at least) so I decide to just walk west since I figure I must be in the bronx. I have no music so I decide to call my friend Gwen who I hadn't talked to in a while. She just had twins a couple months ago so she's on a weird sleep schedule so I figured she might be up. I was right, we talked, I make it home unharmed. The next day I get a text that asking if I'm alright...Gwen and I used to date so I'm afraid I said something I wouldn't have without alcohol's influence. She doesn't answer...apparently "somebody threw a box down @ you while you were lost (in Bronx). Haha. I was like 'did it hurt?' you go (in drunk pascal whisper voice...) "YOU, YOU KNOW WHAT?? THE FUCKED UP THING IS YES GWEN. YES. IT DID HURT. AND THERE'S STILL LUNCHABLES IN THE BOX...WHO THROWS AWAY HALF A BOX OF LUNCHABLES? Would it be wrong of me to eat it?" Luckily Gwen was looking out for me and I did not eat it. But really, who throws half a box of lunchables at some drunk guy walking down the street?

On to Health Care.

I'm not going to debate socialism or how Barack is a terrorist and eats newborn white children and is systematically planning the downfall of our nation, I've just got a story to tell. I was leaving work...huh, another one of these...and decided to stop into the bar around the corner for a drink...or three. As I'm leaving a larger white woman approaches me. I've seen her out here asking for money before and I believe I've given her a dollar or two, but she asks again, this time as I'm putting away my debit card, I just payed the bartender. I say I don't have any cash, and she says she just needs enough for a bus ride home, and would I mind putting it on my card. A bit intrusive, but I've been down and she seems nice enough, so I guess i can afford to buy her a 7 dollar ticket home. Plus she's going to dirty Jerz so I feel bad for her regardless. But then she starts to tell me her story. She was pregnant and her baby was killing her. The doctors said they would have to stop the baby's heart or it would kill her. There's a 1 in 300,000 chance that doing this procedure would destroy her kidneys, so she does it. As I'm sure you've guessed she's that 1. So now, she's lost her baby and she has to do dialisys 6 days a week. So that's problem 1. Problem 2 is that when she was younger, she's 30 now, she knew this guy who was a drug dealer and had gotten caught by the cops. To get himself out of doing major time he aggreed to be a snitch. He told them that he knew of this chick who was big time and that he'd help take her down. He calls her up, Brandi, and asks for a ride to the bus station. Puts his suit cases in the trunk of her car and gets in. She turns the corner and is surrounded by cops. They find 100 lbs of drugs in the trunk of her car, so now she can't get state aid because of the felony drug charge. So she has to come into NY and say she's homeless so that she can get healthcare. But, because she's "homeless", she can't get any other kind of aid from NY. It just seems like a shit situation and I thought I should share it.

And now for something completely different...

Am I wrong when I see a V-Neck T-Shirt with short sleeves and I assume it's a women's shirt? I've been seeing guys working out in these, and it looks really effeminate. My sister offered to give me a brand new leather she's never worn, but i couldn't because it looked too much like a chick's coat. I personally can't do it and I don't understand why these guys think it's ok. This whole "European metrosexual" style is really getting out of hand. Murses (male purses), V-Neck T's, nail polish...what's going on? And these guys claim to be straight? Unless you're dating the likes of Carmen Electra or Apollo, dressing like a woman is not ok...well, unless you're a cross dresser??? I guess??? Open-minded??? No, can't do it, I'm sorry but while I try to eschew societal provinciality (avoid societal narrow mindedness), wearing women's clothing is still just wrong to me. It's not made for you, that's just the case. It's like a woman wearing a jock strap. So just to let you know, when I see you in it, I'm gonna laugh, tell my friends and put it in my blog. If you don't care, good for you. If you do, stop shopping in the women's section. Next you're gonna tell me those pumps are to strenghthen your calves and the T.O. chazzberry lip gloss is to keep your lips from getting chapped...


  1. Many comments to be made:

    A. I've told myself a million times I'm dying and I have yet to do so. Also, I've told myself more than a million times to stop, dot, dot indeed. What is this power of the mind bullcrap huh?
    B. You'd pull out your debit card in front of a stranger?...I've been asked to buy ppl metrocards before too but theres no way I'm pulling out ANY cards and entering ANY pins in front of people i do not i have no money, if you're not in my circle im sorry that really sucks.
    C. that who "my baby is killing me thing"?....I'm a woman...your baby can't kill you, your body can only reject it...and that has nothing to do with your kidneys. Sorry, you know how I am, stupid women bother me.
    C. V-Necks...agreed. Leave the cleavage to the ladies. it's more flattering on us.
    D. I now can't see a thing becuase your page is white on black....thanks.


  2. A) you have to believe it and it takes work.
    B)I'm not fresh off the turnip truck so I'm not worried about some chick taking advantage of me and I'd rather help than not.
    C) The Kidney problem was from the treatment and if she was lying that's on her. I believe in Karma.
    C#2) Right? I don't get it.
    D) I'm glad I could help.