Thursday, February 24, 2011

For the sake of our country PLEASE break-up!!!

By Amanda Jiang & Pascal

The problem with our economy is that too many people are in a relationship. If the government wants to stimulate economic growth then they should encourage divorce, break-ups, and singledom. When our soldiers returned from the battlefields of Europe after WWII, they were told that it was in the best interest of the nation to get their girls pregnant. We had lost many of our finest young men, they had experienced atrocities none but they could fathom and the best cure to both of these was procreation, relationships. At this point, we don’t face that type of deficiency; we actually have too many relationships. According to the World Bank, World Development Indicators, our population growth rate is at .9% in 2009, thus we know we are not in need of increase procreation. Media creates social norms and increasingly more people are thinking about starting families, so they’re saving. That is not going to get us out of this crunch, only one thing will save us: CONSUMPTION!!! But as long as couples are planning their nest-eggs, consumption will remain at historic lows. This could be fixed by formulating ways to break couples up.

There are many constants in life, one of those being that the majority of people, when coming out of a serious relationship, go on spending sprees. They go out to eat, put themselves back out in the market (i.e. the strip club for men), they buy new clothes, buy more groceries, more alcohol, new toys (tvs, iPods, Wii’s, Real Dolls, etc.), and anything else they can think to spend their money on. I mean, it’s not like they’re spending it on their ex anymore so they might as well spend it on themselves.

When someone is going through a break-up the human instinct is to make us feel better and you can’t feel much worse than coming out of a serious relationship. This includes both parties of the relationship. Studies have shown that one of the most used ways to combat Post-Relationship depression is through the purchases of material goods. 86.2% of respondents to a recent survey said that the first thing they’d do after a break-up is go to their local mall and local bars. We must encourage this type of spending at all levels. If we ever want to be the model economy for the world, we must remind our peers that ‘The American Dream’ is more than just a dream, it is reality. But this reality is only realized once you can prove to your friends that you’ve made it. We must promote our new national slogan: “You and I are done, I’m getting myself an iPad”.

Now look at it from an economic point of view… right now we are having high unemployment rate due to cut backs in many industries. Companies can no longer afford to retain all their staff due to decreases in sales or services, thus all the layoffs. The only profits are being seen in Banking and Automotive, mostly minivans. The bankers love that we are keeping our savings with them because they can now use them for credit default swaps and put options on failing manufacturers. The automotive ads seem to always show a happy family going somewhere. It’s not often you see commercials for 2 door sports cars. They want you to have a big family because they’ll first sell you on a sedan. It’s sleek, classy, cool, but then you have another kid so you buy a bigger car, another kid, a bigger car. Now this seems like the consumption I’m talking about, but who buys American anymore? You’ll go and get that Toyota or VW, all that does is make us weaker in the world scene. Yeah they’re safe and all, but when you break up, you go out and get a Corvette. Sexy, sleek, fast, fun, American!

Now let’s say the government tries to promote polices for people to be single. Then it would:

1. Increase retail sales: people have less control over their spending when they are emotional.
2. Increase services: this appeals to many areas in our society, such as salons, bars (alcohol), law firms, hospitals… etc.
3. Increase in tax revenue: singles pay more taxes than married couples. Thus we can pay off loans…

Think about it America, encouraging breakups will cure today’s problems, it will once again make us who we were, the best!

Sunday, February 6, 2011

Comeback Player of the Year?

I want to preface my thoughts with the following: I love to watch Michael Vick play football. I am not upset with him for his dog-fighting ring, it would be hypocritical of me to get upset over that and eat fast-food meat/poultry(ask Peta).

So, that being said, I don't understand how he could even be considered for comeback player of the year. What exactly did he come back from this year? Sitting on the bench? It seems to me that they're saying it's a comeback from being in prison. But wasn't his comeback last year? It Kolb hadn't gotten hurt till next year and Vick had this kind of season, would he still be eligible for the award? If Wes Welker has a huge season next year, will he be eligible for Comeback Player of the Year? I'm glad that Vick is the beast he's shown himself to be, but it makes no sense whatsoever to give him that award when his actual comeback season was spent sitting on the bench.

The real Comeback Player of the Year was E.J. Henderson of the Minnesota Vikings. Last season he gruesomely broke his leg (This video is very graphic. Watch at your own risk. against the Arizona Cardinals, came back after 8 months of rehab and put up pro-bowl numbers (which he played in, btw). He was literally 8 months removed from arguably the most gruesome injury in Pro Football television history, when he began his Pro-Bowl campaign. Michael Vick came back week 3...of the 2009 season. That's a full season of eligibility, why was he even in the discussion in 2010/11?