Monday, October 17, 2011

The Jersey Shore Rapture Drives 55 on Wall St. Protesters

2012 is coming soon; some have said the world will end next year. (The rapture guy says it'll end this week...I'm not as confident. I mean, shit, he also says the fucking world was created 11,013BC. I mean, c'mon, dude. Carbon dating is not a theory, it's factual measuring of C14 in an object. You might as well be trying to tell me the world's flat or Brett Favre is the best QB ever. But please, reader, don't digress, try to focus a little and get back on subject.) With that in mind, it's time for some of you to stop the stupid shit you do. Like watching reality TV. Really. Do you ever feel more stupid than when you're watching Jersey Shore?

And conservatives, please stop saying the 99% (Occupy Wall St. protesters and their supporters) "possess a false sense of entitlement and think they should be receiving government handouts and run up the debt on an imaginary credit card by making hard-working Americans and future generations pay for the bill" because, if you listen to yourselves, that sounds exactly what you're fighting for the big corporations to keep. They already get government handouts and, despite those handouts, they're steadily firing employees. This is all happening while they're making record profits. Most importantly, though, is that none of us want handouts. You people never listen. We want to END the handouts to the companies not create more for ourselves. Unless we need them. We might need to extend unemployment benefits. But doesn't that make more sense than extending tax cuts for private jets? Small businesses need loans to be started and to survive, but the banks aren't giving out loans, so maybe there should be some regulation regarding how much liquidity banks can hold or how much interest their cash can make. One thing, for sure, is that we must stop giving them all of the advantages. When the company at the top gets all the advantages then the company at the bottom has no chance to survive. And in this country, it seems as if the benefits grow exponentially the bigger you get. You conservatives claim to want a "free market" but you need competition to truly have a free market. Monopolies and Oligopolies ARE NOT FREE MARKETS!!!! At this point, if we just get rid of all regulation there will be no way, whatsoever, from stopping the forming of control-all conglomerates. There will be absolutely no competition and we will be forced to buy whatever they want us to. We already have little to no choice. Make it harder for the biggest ones to survive and it will make it easier for the smaller ones to do so. That will create more competition and more of a free market. That is what you guys claim to want, right?

And please stop driving 55mph in the goddamned left lane! I was down in Nashville a few weeks ago for two of my friends' wedding. I live in NYC so I don't drive much...or ever, so I don't have to interact with the dumb drivers like I did a few years ago, but I needed a car down there so I found myself back on the road. I Nashville they have a lot of room so naturally they have big highways. At one point I was cruising down a 5 lane highway headed into the city. I'm in the 2nd lane from the left, rolling, when all of a sudden I notice that I'm rapidly approaching the car in front of me somewhat rapidly. I go to change lanes to pass the car on the left until I notice that the car in front of me is rapidly approaching the car to its left. I merge to the right, pass the two cars and continue on my way. But not until after I glare at the two cars and yell a few profanities at my closed window. Let me give you all a little lesson on highway driving using a 3 laner as my example. The Right Lane - this lane is the "merging" lane - use this lane to merge on and off the highway and not for passing. The Middle Lane - this lane is the travel lane - use this lane to travel, like when you're not passing anybody and not getting on or off the highway. The Left Lane - this lane is the passing lane - use this lane only when passing or driving at a speed consistently faster than others around you and exit this lane asap when another car going faster approaches from the rear. On two lane highways combine the right and middle lanes. On 4+ lane highways start by adding a second travel lane that is for travelers that are going a bit faster. The Offspring said it best, "Hey man you know, I'm really ok, this gun in my hand will tell you the same, when I'm in my car, don't give me no crap, cause the slightest thing and I just might snap, HEY!"